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#MenTalk! Learn to Master your 40s in 6 Ways

Learn how to improve self-confidence to overcome midlife crises



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So, you’ve climbed the hill and are now staring at a vast horizon. You look behind either with happiness, regret, or a combination of both. You remember the times when you found yourself brimming with confidence. You feel the thump on your shoulder given by your proud Manager and you remember your active lifestyle while hobnobbing with a great bunch of friends.

Tava-Mitram is a not-for-profit organization offering free group coaching techniques.
As you stare out towards the horizon open in front of you and the rest of the valley beneath, there is a sudden loss of confidence due to the midlife crises. You find it unsettling - there’s no motivation, your friends have dispersed, and you no longer find joy in the things you used to do. You don’t sense the same energy.

Welcome to the 40s. Or, so it seems for some of you. The middle-age period may cause a dip in your psychological self. You may feel dissatisfied with the results so far and have no self-confidence to tread further. You may think, “I’m afraid to go further,” or, “What if I fail or be ridiculed?” The culture dictates men should be professional ‘settled’ by now, and the ideal man needs to have a family and a kid or two. He should be at the top of the hierarchy ladder. Any male who does not reach these milestones, is often projected as a failure by certain sections of the society.

Midlife crisis in men is common and it can be tough for you to turn the page to the next chapter. However, if you keep re-reading the same chapter, you may be stuck on the same page as the years fly by.

Midlife Crisis Symptoms

  • Depression
  • Hopelessness
  • Lack of energy
  • Loss of interest in things that brought joy
  • Negative attitude
  • Lack of self-love
  • Weight issues
  • Mood changes
  • Disturbed sleep
The above is an indicative list. For more details, please consult a medical professional.
Are you wondering about ways to improve your confidence after 40? Let’s read on.

How to Improve Self-Confidence after 40


1. Embrace a learner attitude

Withdrawal symptoms of smokers and drinkers include physical and emotional problems that give them plenty of discomforts.
The problem with low self-confidence is that it is all happening in your mind. You think you have learned everything you need to know. You think you cannot proceed further. But, in the age of the Internet, you must use the opportunity to learn, grow, and watch your skills being raised to the next level. You can add new skills or leverage existing ones. You can even form new goals and then learn skills to achieve these goals. You have so many options but you cannot see them as your mind is clouded with the “I’m in my 40s” statement. Allow yourself to be a learner and you’ll witness a difference in your attitude while learning to boost self-confidence along the way.

2. Be your true self

Let’s face it. A lot of people spend their life living on terms laid by someone else. You often embrace an image of who you think you are and live a life filled with a false exterior. This is the time to connect deeper with yourself. Embrace meditation daily and delve deeper into your thoughts. You are at a perfect place of calm - you are balanced (you’ve learned from your mistakes) and you now have a better idea of who you are and who you want to be (Who said it’s late? Was that your mind?). If you cut down on the internal chatter with self-awareness skills, the 40s will be a highly learning experience where you will experience falling in love with yourself all over again.

3. Stop the comparison game

Where focus goes, energy flows!
The trouble with low self-confidence in your 40s is that you keep comparing yourself to everyone you know. You might feel your self-esteem go down a couple of notches when you notice your classmate has recently appeared on a magazine cover. “He/she seems successful and is winging it!” you may say. You may feel a loss of confidence when you find yourself still staring at a single status while you see beautiful family photos all over your social media feed. Comparisons only lead to stress. Besides, you don’t know what’s the real deal. The moment you shift your focus towards your inner well-being, a shift begins in your daily life. You create winning patterns while attracting greater success and abundance in life. Remember - “where focus goes, energy flows!”

4. Look good, feel good

You don’t need to step out like a page 1 cover material from a men’s magazine! However, putting your best foot forward boosts your self-confidence to a great extent. When you appreciate yourself through exercise and through clothing that makes you feel confident, you indulge in self-care. Add power poses to that, and you’ll have a winning combination! A confident pose that is practiced in a well-dressed attire raises your confidence before a date, important meeting, or even a job interview.

5. Watch your negative thoughts

The mind is tricky, isn’t it? It fools you into believing the endless stream of thoughts that are filled with negative tones. That’s enough to pull anyone down! By practicing mindfulness, you are observant of how your thoughts float in and out. You can catch those thoughts you do not need, label them, and bid them away. With powerful observation skills, you can shift through these thoughts and manage emotions to boost your confidence after 40.

6. Invest right

One may be too busy working for a major number of years without realizing the need to invest. A good financial plan gives you a much-needed self-confidence boost. If you aren’t an expert at managing your expenses, you can hire a consultant. Those with improved financial management skills display higher confidence in life. Like all other skills, this one can be learned too! Make the move, dial those numbers, and educate yourself in this area.

Building a connect

It’s good to seek professional help. Building confidence after 40 need not be a lonely job. Group coaching is one of the methods that add value to life.
Coaching helps you to -

  • Build your focus
  • Work on your mind
  • Add new techniques
  • Practice self-awareness
  • Be caring towards others
  • Tava-Mitram is a not-for-profit organization offering free group coaching techniques. We conduct online and offline sessions in a safe environment. Our professionals are volunteers and highly trained in the areas of coaching. We do not offer medical advice.

    We’ve launched the “My Mental Health, My Priority” campaign to share our knowledge for free with all. We offer the teachings through a video format where you learn 12 subjects related to mental health. You can learn at your pace and also receive a badge upon completion.

    Click here to register. Watch our reviews on Facebook.

    We’d love you to embrace your 40s with higher confidence in self. If this blog has helped you, do visit our Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram page for updates.

    Yes, you can regain your confidence! Yes, you can embrace life once more! So, are you ready for a new chapter? Write to us at drparas@tavamitram.org.

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